And I knew at that moment I would never be the same again. I knew the color blue would always remind me of his eyes. I knew I couldn’t write or read without thinking of him. I knew I would never be able to leave without feeling guilty. I knew I could never cook like he did. I knew Star Wars would never be the same without him. I knew music would never be the same. I knew I could never be the same. Music would be dull. Life would be dull. Knowing he would never see me graduate high school, go to college, graduate college, walk me down the aisle, or even see my kids. It was heartbreaking. He would never meet the guy I was going to marry. All this flashed through my head in just the span of seconds as I washed his lifeless eyes take his last breath.